dialouge: dear mr. c
mr. c.: Your work made me think. It's good to see a woman express herself fully. I have some thoughts I would like to share with you. Why do women ask for things they are not ready to handle? I always hear women say there are no good men left. They want someone that is nice, sensitive, attentive to their needs, good with communication, ambitious, educated, straight, affectionate, honest, loyal, faithful just to name a few.
I believe I possess most of those qualities and then some. I am a modest person but I do feel I am a very good catch. I don't have any children because I feel they should be the product of the loving bond of marriage. I have on more than one occasion been told that I am too qualified to date. I have so much going for me that the potential of being involved with me and it not working would be overwhelming to deal with because I do have so much potential... I hope you followed that because it’s hard for me to fully phathom myself...
For some reason women feel like they have the market cornered when it comes to pain. I feel the pain of not being accepted for being a strong black man. I feel the loneliness of coming home to an empty house that I own. I feel the frustration of being what every woman wants but no one wants to embrace. I cry, I feel, I want, I love, I lust, I strive, I fail, I perserver, I fall and I rise, and at this point I digress.
What do women really want? I have heard that women have grown up much of their lives wanting to live a fantasy life. I believe those very fantasies have been the reason why they have experienced the hard reality of love. It’s easy to love but so hard to be the only one in love during a relationship. The game of love can be so cruel when all we want is to be happy.
What is a man to do? I wish I could deflect all the pain away that women have experienced in life and make it my own. That would be my gift to women for all the shortcomings that they have endured in relationships. Nail me to a cross, give me a crown of thorns and pricks, stick knives in my side and let me die for the sins of the black man. I would gladly do this if I knew that another good, strong, black man wouldn't have to be trapped in a loveless nightmare.
I only need one woman to be brave and take a chance to actually know just how good love is supposed to be. I only need one woman to be my missing rib and complete me. I only need one queen to claim her destiny. I only need one woman to bare my child. I only need one woman to encourage me to be the man that God intends me to be. I only need one woman to be my wife. So many women want to be loved unconditionally but what woman can truly recognize a real man?
Love is a two-headed monster that makes some eternally happy and others cry themselves to sleep. Love is a destination that I seek, but I'm blind folded stuck in a maize without anyone to guide me where I long to be. Love is my desire but loneliness and frustration are my only company. Where do I go, how do I get to my paradise..?
Confused
s.love: First of all I would like to thank you for your post Mr. C. It’s interesting to hear a man’s point of view on the frustrations love and relationships can bring. I do follow you on the prestige you hold for yourself... It’s important to be confident that you are a woman’s “everything”… Also, I must say it is unfortunate that some women overlook good men who are single and ready for commitment. Yes, one would think that any woman ready for the same commitment would jump all over the chance to be with this 'Potential Prospect'; however, we are living in a world of pain, clouded purposes, and unfulfilled fantasies~
There are women who are still struggling to move on from their past relationships. Every individual is different. Some women move on quicker than others. You have some women who have been physically abuse – some woman who have been mentally abused – and some women who lack the ability to trust again. Whatever the woman’s circumstance, she has to completely release her pain before she can have a healthy relationship again, or a healthy relationship for the first time in her life. I’m not making excuses... I am just speaking – trying to give you something to think about~
It may be easy to think, “Damn, how long ago was this woman in that past unhealthy relationship..? Shouldn’t she be over what happened by now..?” It may be easy to tell a woman who has been hurt to, “Just get over it!” We know that everyone in this world has been hurt at some point in his or her life (for those who haven’t – may God continue to Bless them)… Aside from those women who simply hold onto the fact that they’ve been hurt as an excuse to get out of a (potential) current relationship – there are those women who still pray everyday for God to give them the courage to stand with their head held high… There are those women who have to continue to let Go and Let God. We as beings have to trust in God first and all else will fall into its proper place. No matter how great the struggle is, a woman has to ask God to purge her from every past relationship that stripped pieces of her heart, her spirit, her esteem, her ability to love~
I’m just speaking, trying to shed some light on how it can be possible for a woman with an shattered heart or spirit to enter relationships unsure… These women I speak of are those who have had parts of their life frozen from remaining in an unhealthy relationship, thinking each day something will change – I’m not really speaking on those relationships where 'Pookie cheated on me because he let this chic give him her number' (I’m not making light of that – nor am I saying it’s proper behavior) – I’m speaking of those women who need the Lord to move on...
Something else to think about: Have you ever heard a group of women talk among themselves – telling each other that they are so tired of dating the same type of man (or fool is what they probably called him)… Have you ever heard a woman jokingly say, “I must have the words – If you are a Monster Date me – written on my forehead..." to her peers… Well, unfortunately, some women have expressed themselves this way… Here’s something to think about (for men and women)… Have we ever asked ourselves is there a reason why we keep entering into the same disastrous relationships… Have we ever sat back and looked for a pattern of how we enter these relationships… One reason (and this is to sum up my point on women who haven’t purged) is that there is a fear – a fear that they wouldn’t know a good man if he stood at her front door – or a fear that this good man will start out as a charmer - but then charm his way into distroying her life... This woman could have a fear that she just doesn't know any other way of living in a relationship unless it's with a constant frown... Some women are not even aware that they still harbor their broken past - they seem to have moved on, but wonder why things haven't really changed...
Then, Mr. C., you have women who just simply want to attract the men who “ain’t Sh@#” because they don’t plan to be up to any good themselves – you feel me..? No disrespect to my laides - I'm speaking of the men and women who enter into relationship with no intentions on being faithful...
Then, Mr. C., you have those women who are happy being single, they don’t want to commit. They are either trying to established themselves in their career and acquire things on their own and then see if they have room for love – or look up and the time is right for them to search for love… You have women who are fixed to certain physical criteria (which is one reason why some of us women are still single – being too picky)… But, a woman is entitled to have her dream guy fixed in her head… Either she’ll find him or grow old alone with her cat…
Bottom line is – searching for love is not always easy. All we want to do is reach for the purity, the comfort, and the beauty in Love~ We despise all the trying paths we have to take or the painful routes we end up taking ourselves… We don’t want to build ourselves up from the lessons learned – we don’t want to use our experiences to share with or teach another – we just want Love easy… Well my friend, where there is pain – there will be a gain.
Hold onto your dream for your Love. Hold onto your seed for your Love. Hold onto your passion for your Love. Be her friend. Have a genuine care to get to know her… Take your acquaintance with her with ease… Let her see the strong man that you are… Ask God to reveal things to you. Ask Him to give you patience. Ask Him to prepare her for all the love you have to give. I hope all goes well in your favor~
Regards,
s.love
I believe I possess most of those qualities and then some. I am a modest person but I do feel I am a very good catch. I don't have any children because I feel they should be the product of the loving bond of marriage. I have on more than one occasion been told that I am too qualified to date. I have so much going for me that the potential of being involved with me and it not working would be overwhelming to deal with because I do have so much potential... I hope you followed that because it’s hard for me to fully phathom myself...
For some reason women feel like they have the market cornered when it comes to pain. I feel the pain of not being accepted for being a strong black man. I feel the loneliness of coming home to an empty house that I own. I feel the frustration of being what every woman wants but no one wants to embrace. I cry, I feel, I want, I love, I lust, I strive, I fail, I perserver, I fall and I rise, and at this point I digress.
What do women really want? I have heard that women have grown up much of their lives wanting to live a fantasy life. I believe those very fantasies have been the reason why they have experienced the hard reality of love. It’s easy to love but so hard to be the only one in love during a relationship. The game of love can be so cruel when all we want is to be happy.
What is a man to do? I wish I could deflect all the pain away that women have experienced in life and make it my own. That would be my gift to women for all the shortcomings that they have endured in relationships. Nail me to a cross, give me a crown of thorns and pricks, stick knives in my side and let me die for the sins of the black man. I would gladly do this if I knew that another good, strong, black man wouldn't have to be trapped in a loveless nightmare.
I only need one woman to be brave and take a chance to actually know just how good love is supposed to be. I only need one woman to be my missing rib and complete me. I only need one queen to claim her destiny. I only need one woman to bare my child. I only need one woman to encourage me to be the man that God intends me to be. I only need one woman to be my wife. So many women want to be loved unconditionally but what woman can truly recognize a real man?
Love is a two-headed monster that makes some eternally happy and others cry themselves to sleep. Love is a destination that I seek, but I'm blind folded stuck in a maize without anyone to guide me where I long to be. Love is my desire but loneliness and frustration are my only company. Where do I go, how do I get to my paradise..?
Confused
s.love: First of all I would like to thank you for your post Mr. C. It’s interesting to hear a man’s point of view on the frustrations love and relationships can bring. I do follow you on the prestige you hold for yourself... It’s important to be confident that you are a woman’s “everything”… Also, I must say it is unfortunate that some women overlook good men who are single and ready for commitment. Yes, one would think that any woman ready for the same commitment would jump all over the chance to be with this 'Potential Prospect'; however, we are living in a world of pain, clouded purposes, and unfulfilled fantasies~
There are women who are still struggling to move on from their past relationships. Every individual is different. Some women move on quicker than others. You have some women who have been physically abuse – some woman who have been mentally abused – and some women who lack the ability to trust again. Whatever the woman’s circumstance, she has to completely release her pain before she can have a healthy relationship again, or a healthy relationship for the first time in her life. I’m not making excuses... I am just speaking – trying to give you something to think about~
It may be easy to think, “Damn, how long ago was this woman in that past unhealthy relationship..? Shouldn’t she be over what happened by now..?” It may be easy to tell a woman who has been hurt to, “Just get over it!” We know that everyone in this world has been hurt at some point in his or her life (for those who haven’t – may God continue to Bless them)… Aside from those women who simply hold onto the fact that they’ve been hurt as an excuse to get out of a (potential) current relationship – there are those women who still pray everyday for God to give them the courage to stand with their head held high… There are those women who have to continue to let Go and Let God. We as beings have to trust in God first and all else will fall into its proper place. No matter how great the struggle is, a woman has to ask God to purge her from every past relationship that stripped pieces of her heart, her spirit, her esteem, her ability to love~
I’m just speaking, trying to shed some light on how it can be possible for a woman with an shattered heart or spirit to enter relationships unsure… These women I speak of are those who have had parts of their life frozen from remaining in an unhealthy relationship, thinking each day something will change – I’m not really speaking on those relationships where 'Pookie cheated on me because he let this chic give him her number' (I’m not making light of that – nor am I saying it’s proper behavior) – I’m speaking of those women who need the Lord to move on...
Something else to think about: Have you ever heard a group of women talk among themselves – telling each other that they are so tired of dating the same type of man (or fool is what they probably called him)… Have you ever heard a woman jokingly say, “I must have the words – If you are a Monster Date me – written on my forehead..." to her peers… Well, unfortunately, some women have expressed themselves this way… Here’s something to think about (for men and women)… Have we ever asked ourselves is there a reason why we keep entering into the same disastrous relationships… Have we ever sat back and looked for a pattern of how we enter these relationships… One reason (and this is to sum up my point on women who haven’t purged) is that there is a fear – a fear that they wouldn’t know a good man if he stood at her front door – or a fear that this good man will start out as a charmer - but then charm his way into distroying her life... This woman could have a fear that she just doesn't know any other way of living in a relationship unless it's with a constant frown... Some women are not even aware that they still harbor their broken past - they seem to have moved on, but wonder why things haven't really changed...
Then, Mr. C., you have women who just simply want to attract the men who “ain’t Sh@#” because they don’t plan to be up to any good themselves – you feel me..? No disrespect to my laides - I'm speaking of the men and women who enter into relationship with no intentions on being faithful...
Then, Mr. C., you have those women who are happy being single, they don’t want to commit. They are either trying to established themselves in their career and acquire things on their own and then see if they have room for love – or look up and the time is right for them to search for love… You have women who are fixed to certain physical criteria (which is one reason why some of us women are still single – being too picky)… But, a woman is entitled to have her dream guy fixed in her head… Either she’ll find him or grow old alone with her cat…
Bottom line is – searching for love is not always easy. All we want to do is reach for the purity, the comfort, and the beauty in Love~ We despise all the trying paths we have to take or the painful routes we end up taking ourselves… We don’t want to build ourselves up from the lessons learned – we don’t want to use our experiences to share with or teach another – we just want Love easy… Well my friend, where there is pain – there will be a gain.
Hold onto your dream for your Love. Hold onto your seed for your Love. Hold onto your passion for your Love. Be her friend. Have a genuine care to get to know her… Take your acquaintance with her with ease… Let her see the strong man that you are… Ask God to reveal things to you. Ask Him to give you patience. Ask Him to prepare her for all the love you have to give. I hope all goes well in your favor~
Regards,
s.love
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Hey, come by and check out my spot when you get a minute. I finally did it.
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