voyage.of.love

put yo lighters up

2005-09-21T21:04:00.000-04:00

Hey hey, headed to Brooklyn!! Yep, on my way to New York peeps... Headed for a major shopping spree... Ap, wisdom, I got my lighter up! lol I'll return in a few days...

Til then,

Take Care`

woman to man, cater II & III...

2005-09-21T18:19:00.000-04:00

cater, part II
Stressful day, dreary week, feeling a bit defeated, concerned about what you have to do to catch your beat
I can tell your mind is heavy, I can sense slight frustration, and
There has even been a slight lack of our communication
Sometimes words may not be the only thing you need to hear, so let me show you how much I care and want to be there
Sure, I can speak until my face is blue, I can tell you over and over, “Baby cheer up. The sky is the limit of what you can do.”
I’m not making light of this statement above; every word I share is sincere and is accompanied with love
The sky is the limit – you can do all you set out to accomplish
You can find the strength to forget about the past that may seem to haunt you, and
Understand that a friend is not trying to taunt you
Lay your head on my chest, caress my bosom until you fall asleep if you feel
I want to see a smile on your face; I don’t want to take for granted the comfort and protection you give to me
When you are faced with battles I want you to know I’m here to lean and depend on
As you have been a pillar and pillow for me
Just like I told you last night while we were in bed
You tossed, I turned, we both stared ahead
I can exhaust with the questions on how you may feel, but my intuition may tell me the deal
No, it’s not all about me, my concerns are moved aside
Share with me, at your time, don’t feel like you have to hide...

To be continued-

woman to man, cater...

2005-09-18T22:14:00.000-04:00

cater, part I
Don’t move, stay seated, here, let me take your plate...
Sitting on your lap, looking into your eyes
I could almost count the number of freckles that blend in with your walnut brown skin
I can even remember every curl on your eye brows

You have the most handsome eyes, and your facial hair, I just want to, Oooo
As I rub my hand across your beard I feel a small speck of residue of the
Alfredo sauce you left behind
Still gazing into your eyes, wiping your chin is never a problem

I came into a bit of extra money, from my bonus I received
Saved a portion for our new home, and spent the rest on these
Open it; don’t look so surprised, I love to see a smile on my baby’s face
Hurry, open it, I can’t wait

I saw them at your store, they were on sale, so I bought two
One for when you go out with the fellas, and the other for when it’s just me and you
I prefer you wear the white one when we hit the town
White brightens your eyes and makes me want to go ….

This is your day, get full, but save room for dessert
I even made your favorite, hand picked the strawberries to top it off just fine
Oh, I didn’t forget your beverage, aged from 1939
A toast to you
Okay, to us, but to you first because it’s your day

Hurry, eat your dessert
I’ll turn on the TV, and get ready for part II

Are you all done, great, kick back and give me your feet
I know you had a long long day, aching workweek
The man at work trying to get you down – not getting the recognition that you need

Take the remote, and then push play
Yes, you can drift off to sleep first, you may,
I definitely won’t complain
Sure, I’ll wake you up in about an hour
I’m in no rush; I’m going to take my shower

Wake up sweetie, I don’t want you to ruin your night’s sleep
Oh yeah baby, there’s more to this day, this evening, this night, that’s all about you

I want you to see what’s on TV – just push play, hope it makes you laugh
Haha, yes, baby, I TIVO’d the game the Monday you had class
No, you didn’t have to remind me; somehow I knew you would forget
Remember I’m your partner, your lover, and best friend

So, sit here and do yo thang, sure I’ll give you some more ice cream
No, this isn’t the end of your night, but for now, I’ll leave you be

Call me at half time, and I… We… Well, you know, wink`wink

Then, I’ll let you watch the second half while I run your bath
Ooo-wee you say, just for you
OH, by the way, pick a color
Pink, purple, red, or blue

I’ll be in the room; oh I won’t go too far
I know how you get after you’ve watched your team play
You get this extra energy, frisky like
I’ll be waiting to make our own endings to top off the day

Well, handsome, I hope you enjoyed this time
I put your gray suit out for you to wear in the morning
Packed your lunch, and cleared my schedule for noon
I’ll pick you up, take you home, and continue to do the things we like to do, wink`wink

simply expressing` no rhyme or reason`

just dropped in for a minute

2005-09-06T17:29:00.000-04:00

I'm back to the blog world, I guess for a little while... It's been quite some time. I thought I would have written more often than I have lately... It's been an interesting and trying couple of months.

The company I work for is cutting our tax department and we have a few months to find another job... Let me mention I've only worked for this company for 9 months... My previous employer went out of business last year... I wasn't part of the initial group of departing employees. I had a couple of months left to work... There were a few tax matters to finalize before my position was closed - so I had a couple of months to find another job... I was blessed to find the company I work for now... Needless to say I'm shaking my head in disbelief - thinking "I just went through this less than a year ago."

I finally took a well needed break from my graduate program for a while. I needed time to think about my future, rest, and do nothing... I go back in November, so I have to make sure I get some things done in the meantime because when I go back I have to take my statistics class (yikes) :o Well, again, I'm back. I don't have anything really to talk about, I'm just writing today...

Have you ever prayed and asked God to reveal things to you... I mean really just sat in a room and just prayed and said, "Lord, I really need you on this one. I'm torn and I don't know what to do... Give me the answer..."

Well, I've been a bit emotional lately for a few different reasons - more so this weekend (PMS, as if the fellas really wanted to hear that - but ladies you feel me)... My mind has been on a couple of things, one being my career and the professional path I need to take... I was talking with my mom this weekend or maybe last week about an interview I had in another state. I told her I wasn't sure where they are with the decision making process, and I told her I wasn't sure if I even wanted to move to the state I interviewed... They have an office locally that I would prefer...

The director wanted me to interview with both states to get a feel of a couple of offices within his region... They are hiring for both locations, and if placed with either I would have to travel to the other maybe once a year for project(s)... Well, I felt the interview went well. The director/partner is extremely approachable and professional... I felt comfortable discussing my experiences with him... Well, it's amazing how things work, how signs are given, how God answers prayers...

Today I just cried for hours it seems like, for some reasons I know and others I don't know... My hormones were on blaze and I even had to ask myself why am I crying (haha - Ladies you feel me)... At any rate, enough about my out bursts... What I wanted to share is how I felt when I came home from work today...

I checked my home voice messages, not really expecting any messages... Well, I received a call back for a second interview with the company's office I interviewed with out of state... I'm suppose to interview with the local office... For some reason they haven't set that meeting up at this time... Anyway, the message was they want me to meet a couple of more people within the region and interview with them, they want to know if I will come back to the office out of state... I haven't called her back yet... The main reason is because it's after 6pm and the other, I just need a minute to marinate on my entire day; however, I will call her back tomorrow~

It's amazing... I was just talking to my close friend the other day about my interview I had with them... Telling her I wasn't sure what I wanted to do... Then, today I just prayed about it among other things (basically, I just said, "Lord tell me what I need to do, show me the answers to my questions, give me the strength to handle what comes my way)... ...I prayed that I'd make the best decision for my career and my life overall and for Him to show me where this company's interest is in me and show me other things as well... That prayer was today, this morning, and the phone call was this evening... Need I say, God answers prayers... Some people may think what a coincidence, but I know my relationship with my Father and I know when things can be a coincidence and when God has heard my broken cry... (hmm, 'Broken Cry', sounds like an old spiritual hymn) ~Smile~ Anway, I have some things to think about tonight...

I had something else I wanted to talk about, but I can't remember - plus I have a headache from all this crying... :) Soooo, til I write again...

Take Care'

for my sisters

2005-08-19T17:36:00.000-04:00

I have been away from my pen for a while, but I shall return soon (I promise)...

Something to think about:

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or has a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending... Compromise is a two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships... There is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... Look for someone complimentary - not supplementary.

Dating is fun - even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes... When a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. (Hallelujah, thank you Jesus!)

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

Author, Unknown~

a better day

2005-07-29T12:30:00.000-04:00

I'm having a better day today. I just read my post from yesterday and I guess I had a few words to say..?? :o Swearin and such (again, pardon my French)~ :o Well, my morning was pleasant. I took my mom out to breakfast for her birthday since her and my dad are going out tonight... Anyhoo~ ...Let me get back to my work. I just thought I drop back in...

they all want to talk

2005-07-28T17:49:00.000-04:00

Message Archived

will return soon

2005-07-26T00:19:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I know I haven't "blogged" in some time - over two weeks now... I will return next week, after my class ends for the period... Sooo, til I write again, tootles for now~

dialouge: dear mr. c

2005-07-10T22:50:00.000-04:00

mr. c.: Your work made me think. It's good to see a woman express herself fully. I have some thoughts I would like to share with you. Why do women ask for things they are not ready to handle? I always hear women say there are no good men left. They want someone that is nice, sensitive, attentive to their needs, good with communication, ambitious, educated, straight, affectionate, honest, loyal, faithful just to name a few.

I believe I possess most of those qualities and then some. I am a modest person but I do feel I am a very good catch. I don't have any children because I feel they should be the product of the loving bond of marriage. I have on more than one occasion been told that I am too qualified to date. I have so much going for me that the potential of being involved with me and it not working would be overwhelming to deal with because I do have so much potential... I hope you followed that because it’s hard for me to fully phathom myself...

For some reason women feel like they have the market cornered when it comes to pain. I feel the pain of not being accepted for being a strong black man. I feel the loneliness of coming home to an empty house that I own. I feel the frustration of being what every woman wants but no one wants to embrace. I cry, I feel, I want, I love, I lust, I strive, I fail, I perserver, I fall and I rise, and at this point I digress.

What do women really want? I have heard that women have grown up much of their lives wanting to live a fantasy life. I believe those very fantasies have been the reason why they have experienced the hard reality of love. It’s easy to love but so hard to be the only one in love during a relationship. The game of love can be so cruel when all we want is to be happy.

What is a man to do? I wish I could deflect all the pain away that women have experienced in life and make it my own. That would be my gift to women for all the shortcomings that they have endured in relationships. Nail me to a cross, give me a crown of thorns and pricks, stick knives in my side and let me die for the sins of the black man. I would gladly do this if I knew that another good, strong, black man wouldn't have to be trapped in a loveless nightmare.

I only need one woman to be brave and take a chance to actually know just how good love is supposed to be. I only need one woman to be my missing rib and complete me. I only need one queen to claim her destiny. I only need one woman to bare my child. I only need one woman to encourage me to be the man that God intends me to be. I only need one woman to be my wife. So many women want to be loved unconditionally but what woman can truly recognize a real man?

Love is a two-headed monster that makes some eternally happy and others cry themselves to sleep. Love is a destination that I seek, but I'm blind folded stuck in a maize without anyone to guide me where I long to be. Love is my desire but loneliness and frustration are my only company. Where do I go, how do I get to my paradise..?

Confused

s.love: First of all I would like to thank you for your post Mr. C. It’s interesting to hear a man’s point of view on the frustrations love and relationships can bring. I do follow you on the prestige you hold for yourself... It’s important to be confident that you are a woman’s “everything”… Also, I must say it is unfortunate that some women overlook good men who are single and ready for commitment. Yes, one would think that any woman ready for the same commitment would jump all over the chance to be with this 'Potential Prospect'; however, we are living in a world of pain, clouded purposes, and unfulfilled fantasies~

There are women who are still struggling to move on from their past relationships. Every individual is different. Some women move on quicker than others. You have some women who have been physically abuse – some woman who have been mentally abused – and some women who lack the ability to trust again. Whatever the woman’s circumstance, she has to completely release her pain before she can have a healthy relationship again, or a healthy relationship for the first time in her life. I’m not making excuses... I am just speaking – trying to give you something to think about~

It may be easy to think, “Damn, how long ago was this woman in that past unhealthy relationship..? Shouldn’t she be over what happened by now..?” It may be easy to tell a woman who has been hurt to, “Just get over it!” We know that everyone in this world has been hurt at some point in his or her life (for those who haven’t – may God continue to Bless them)… Aside from those women who simply hold onto the fact that they’ve been hurt as an excuse to get out of a (potential) current relationship – there are those women who still pray everyday for God to give them the courage to stand with their head held high… There are those women who have to continue to let Go and Let God. We as beings have to trust in God first and all else will fall into its proper place. No matter how great the struggle is, a woman has to ask God to purge her from every past relationship that stripped pieces of her heart, her spirit, her esteem, her ability to love~

I’m just speaking, trying to shed some light on how it can be possible for a woman with an shattered heart or spirit to enter relationships unsure… These women I speak of are those who have had parts of their life frozen from remaining in an unhealthy relationship, thinking each day something will change – I’m not really speaking on those relationships where 'Pookie cheated on me because he let this chic give him her number' (I’m not making light of that – nor am I saying it’s proper behavior) – I’m speaking of those women who need the Lord to move on...

Something else to think about: Have you ever heard a group of women talk among themselves – telling each other that they are so tired of dating the same type of man (or fool is what they probably called him)… Have you ever heard a woman jokingly say, “I must have the words – If you are a Monster Date me – written on my forehead..." to her peers… Well, unfortunately, some women have expressed themselves this way… Here’s something to think about (for men and women)… Have we ever asked ourselves is there a reason why we keep entering into the same disastrous relationships… Have we ever sat back and looked for a pattern of how we enter these relationships… One reason (and this is to sum up my point on women who haven’t purged) is that there is a fear – a fear that they wouldn’t know a good man if he stood at her front door – or a fear that this good man will start out as a charmer - but then charm his way into distroying her life... This woman could have a fear that she just doesn't know any other way of living in a relationship unless it's with a constant frown... Some women are not even aware that they still harbor their broken past - they seem to have moved on, but wonder why things haven't really changed...

Then, Mr. C., you have women who just simply want to attract the men who “ain’t Sh@#” because they don’t plan to be up to any good themselves – you feel me..? No disrespect to my laides - I'm speaking of the men and women who enter into relationship with no intentions on being faithful...

Then, Mr. C., you have those women who are happy being single, they don’t want to commit. They are either trying to established themselves in their career and acquire things on their own and then see if they have room for love – or look up and the time is right for them to search for love… You have women who are fixed to certain physical criteria (which is one reason why some of us women are still single – being too picky)… But, a woman is entitled to have her dream guy fixed in her head… Either she’ll find him or grow old alone with her cat…

Bottom line is – searching for love is not always easy. All we want to do is reach for the purity, the comfort, and the beauty in Love~ We despise all the trying paths we have to take or the painful routes we end up taking ourselves… We don’t want to build ourselves up from the lessons learned – we don’t want to use our experiences to share with or teach another – we just want Love easy… Well my friend, where there is pain – there will be a gain.

Hold onto your dream for your Love. Hold onto your seed for your Love. Hold onto your passion for your Love. Be her friend. Have a genuine care to get to know her… Take your acquaintance with her with ease… Let her see the strong man that you are… Ask God to reveal things to you. Ask Him to give you patience. Ask Him to prepare her for all the love you have to give. I hope all goes well in your favor~

Regards,
s.love

rhetorically speaking

2005-07-04T00:55:00.000-04:00

Thoughts from the past:

How can a man tell me he wants to marry me and he’s never told me he loves me… How can a man tell me he loves me unconditionally yet can’t position himself to show me… How can a man think I am the one but can’t say he really knows me… How can a man act like he wants something special but he isn’t ready to treat me special… You don’t have the answers, hell I don’t either – but I’ve come a little close… Men are like a box of chocolates – you never know what assortment you’ll find – a saying we’ve all heard… I’m not trying to be funny, but it’s true… I know men are alike in several ways – heck – almost simple we may say (no, men I’m not calling you simple beings – just not as complex as we try to make you out to be at times)… I say you all can be an interesting assortment because you all have your different ways of expressing yourself… Can I believe a man wants to marry me if he can’t say the words ~I Love You~… Is he afraid to feel like he’s put himself in a vulnerable position by telling me he loves me or should I just believe him because he’s voiced his wants for me to be with him… Am I looking for too much from this man or am I being fair to myself by having a valid concern of wondering if he will ever be able to tell me he loves me… Or does he only think he is in love because he’s found a good woman he can settle down with and start a family… Could he be waiting for me to say yes/take him up on his offer and then he’ll tell me – Is he thinking to himself – "No need to let all my feelings out if I don’t know for sure she wants the same thing I want… " I guess I always thought a man would say, “I love you, would you be my wife…” Is the fact that he wants to marry me enough right there – am I asking for too much when I know this man thinks the world of me… What about the man who showers me with those words often… “I love you. I love you.” What woman wouldn’t want to hear those words… What woman wouldn’t love to hear how much she means to a man… What woman wouldn’t appreciate hearing how wonderful she is, how good she looks, or how great she makes that man feel… What woman wouldn’t want to hear from her man the morning before an interview or a doctor’s appointment or a major presentation and just told to knock ‘em out or everything will be fine or you know this like the back of your hand… What woman wouldn’t want to feel special… Like men who genuinely want to feel appreciated so do women… Did I drift – If so I apologize… I’m just speaking… For a man who loves me unconditionally, but can’t position himself to show me – is that a sign that the love isn’t real… We always hear that actions speak louder than words… The man that thought I was the one yet still had so much to know about me – was his feelings genuine… Did he know when he first laid eyes on me… Did he know when I walked in the room smelling of the perfume he enjoyed smelling on a woman… Did he know when he saw me in something sexy I was wearing… When did he know… For the men who always want to be treated special even if the treatment isn’t reciprocated… Why… Two reasons – they are either playing games or they are either playing games (I think I said that twice..??)… Well, so may assortments, so little time in the world to elaborate on them all… Again, I’m just speaking… You know – just jottin notes… Nothing more – nothing less... I can’t talk about these past pieces of chocolate at once… I will have to tackle one sensation at a time; therefore, stay tuned for the first chapter (chapter one – dark chocolate cream filling)…

a morning conversation with smoky

2005-06-29T22:16:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I don't normally talk about love making/sex, but sometimes one just gets inspired to imagine - ya know...

…I rolled over, not wanting to break my sleep. “What time is it?” I wondered, eyes still closed. “Oh well. Why am I concerned with the time anyway.” taking a deep breath, exhaling softly, closing my robe to cover myself. “I don’t have a single thing to do today, why get up!?” I remained stretched out on the bed pulling my pillow tighter to my face, embracing ever inch of the coolness with my cheek. The fan from above the bed cooled the rest of my body from the early morning heat. “Just a few more minutes, or maybe another hour…” I just wanted to sleep. All I wanted to do is sleep and reminisce~

He walked into the room early that morning. “Good morning handsome.” I greeted him with a kiss before I closed my eyes again to continue sleeping. He opened my robe slowly and I released a subtle moan as I rubbed my legs together. With my eyes still closed, I was waiting to feel his lips touch me. A few seconds passed and I didn’t feel his lips meet my body, so I opened my eyes. To my surprise, he was just standing there looking at me with that sexy look on his face. Well, I guess I can’t say I was completely surprised. Sometimes he would just stand there or lie in the bed and look at my physique and then look into my eyes. I think he liked to tease me because he knows I get moist when he gazes into me. I managed to grab his hands and pull him into bed. “Come lye next to me for a little while. Please.” I guess I wasn’t too disappointed that he didn’t feel my moistness. I was still tired from the night before. For some reason he didn’t want to sleep and he didn’t want to make love. He wanted to probe; and he wanted to find out why I was so sleepy~

“I was up late talking… No, I promise, all I was doing was talking. A little about life, about desires, about, umm, you don’t really want to know the rest. ~laughing seductively~ …Very elevating though, our conversation was – it always is…” He looked at me with slight disgust and confusion. “Don’t look at me that way. I thought about you during our talk. Yes I did, I thought about you. He inched himself away from me over to his spot in bed. “Come here. Give me a kiss. Oh, I can’t get a kiss! So, I guess you don’t want to know how much I thought about you and how I did that little thing you like me to do…” He turned around and sat up against the headboard ready to hear what I had to say. “Well~”

“At times I found myself gazing off into the open window, staring at the fire flies dance on top of the tallest trees… It was like Christmas lights wrapped around our tree, flickering at a steady beat. It was beautiful. Eventually, our conversation ended with every word fading into the night’s silence. I found myself sitting alone. I wanted you there with me – holding me on your lap and feeling me up underneath my wrap. Just you, me, and the fireflies secluded on the deck…

The night was quiet, and it began to cool off. The only sound I could hear was from the jets subtly roaring from the hot tub. Hmmm –All I could do is think of you and what I would do to you if you were standing in front of me at that moment. Damn~ Next thing I know my thighs were being massaged by the jets and I closed my eyes to enjoy each and every motion. Drinking our favorite wine, I began to relax even more, wishing the jets were your hands rubbing my body in a way only you can. I tilted my head toward the patio door to make sure no one was around, and I saw my robe lay on the deck. It was the little red silk robe you love to rub your face into. I looked at the robe, and then I looked at myself… I let the jets stroke my legs and I began to slowly massage my neck with the tips of my wet fingers. I stopped at moments to gather enough of the heated water in the palms of my hands to slowly pour it down my neck and shoulders. The heat felt so good, but not as good as your lips feel caressing me from my cheeks to my neck, to my shoulders to my breast…

The night continued to cool off. All I had was the heat from the water to warm me. By this time I longed to have my body wrapped around yours for warmth during the night. I was tempted toooo – well at first I said no, but then… Well, I just began… My CD was still playing. It was Luther: ‘Don’t you remember you told me you loved me baby… You said you’d be coming back this way again, baby…’ I kept my eyes closed and kept my mind on you. I thought about your smell. I thought about the way your mustache feels against me. I thought about your hands on my breast. I thought about everything that makes me hot for you… I began to move my fingers from my neck to my breast to my…”

Before I could finish giving him every detail of my eventful night, he stopped me!!

He wanted more, but he wanted me to show him more. He always wanted more, and I always gave him more. He started gazing into my eyes again. This time he grabbed my moistness, hard, like he’s been longing for me like I longed for him on that secluded night. We kissed passionately, stopping only to take quick breaths… He grabbed, I moaned, he grabbed, I moaned… He threw me on top of him and I began to kiss his torso, taking moments to work my way back up to his bottom lip – barely kissing him – teasing him with the tip of my tongue… I moved to his neck and up to his ear – gently biting and telling him how much I needed to have him… I worked my lips down his arm… I locked my hands into his and began to kiss his fingers one by one – holding a couple on my tongue. I wanted to take my favorite position, but he had a different agenda. He turned me over and gently placed me on my back. We stopped kissing and just stared at each other – speaking without saying a word… I pulled him closer to me running my fingers down the strength of his back… He kissed my neck, I whispered in his ear… He was inside my moistness and I was now in that place I desperately craved for on that beautiful calm night… I closed my eyes – he closed his eyes… It was another magical conversation~

The beauty in love making between a man and woman~ Simply amazing~

~fiction abstract copyright june, 2005

Deeetroiittt BaskkkeetBALL

2005-06-16T19:14:00.000-04:00

What do I try to accomplish first...? I have homework to begin, house work to complete, and other necessities that need my focus... Hmmmm I need a personal assistant... lol I can call Molly Maid to come clean my house and give my cousin $25 to sort through my bills and alphabetize my files... Hmmmm is that lazy..?? LOL Now, I know one reason why people have kids - to run errands and clean the house... haha Okay, okay, anyhoo... I won't write long so I can get a good start on one of my many tasks... Also, I want to try to watch the game tonight! Hopefully Big Ben lets his fro loose again tonight and remembers the mighty words from his wife... It takes a woman to put a man back in line, huh..? haha Anyhoo, I hope they win - have you notice that the Pistons' line up is full of Look-a-Likes..? Okay, there's Billups who looks like he can be Puff-Daddy's cousin - there's McDyess who looks like Brian McKnights brother - and somebody looks like an Usher want to be... hmmm OH! I think that was someone from the Spurs... Can't remember - Well, I'm out~

Tootles`

my response & part I of memo one...

2005-06-05T22:46:00.000-04:00

Every so often I tend to revisit the meaning of love (I guess you can say I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic - or I like torturing myself trying to analyze the complexity of this emotion...). Usually, this visitation is based on a transitional period in my life - or simply from a recent conversation I may have had with a friend. Nevertheless, whether my own personal reflection or the saga of another, I seem to find myself revisiting love~

There are few things in this world more powerful than a man loving his woman unconditionally, and there are few things as affecting as knowing the love a woman has for her man... This love surpasses the stages of lust and initial friendship. It births loyalty and fidelity, respect and honesty, trust, patience, and understanding... Too often people fall in love with the concept of "Being in Love". If "Being in Love" is what a man or woman tend to fall in love with, they limit themselves from truly connecting with this other person in their life... They're only loving the surface of the relationship (the notion of love), not the person within the relationship... There's a difference.

If a man is in love with a woman, I mean, truly in love with this woman - {well, first of all ladies, this woman will know~ Ladies, we can burden ourselves immensely wondering if a man in our life is in love with us... If a man is in love with a woman, he will tell her (simple as that)... Okay, so that may sound a bit harsh, but think about it... If a man is in love with a woman - if he doesn't want another man to have her - if he can admit to himself that he is ready to show the world that he is in love with her - then my sister - he will tell this woman exactly how he feels... I had to listen to my own advice a time ago... I had to learn the hard way - trying to figure out what a man is thinking or feeling - it takes more energy than one should give... I've come to the philosophy, if you've reached a point where you want to know how a man feels, ask, or wait for him to tell you~} Okay, okay, I drifted off from my initial flow (I'll talk more on this in another memo)...

If a man is in love with a woman, I mean, truly in love with this woman, he would show her in his every touch. He would prove to her by his constant commitment... He would long for her during the day while he's working, and praise her to his best man... He would greet her with flowers and subtle kisses - meet her and only her in their special place at night when no one is there - this place of love making... sweet, sensual, hot love making... If a man is in love with a woman, he would embrace the pain of her most hidden sorrow, and protect her against any chance of insecurity... He would hold no anger, bitterness, or strife, he would be glorified that this woman is his wife.... He would dance with her in the middle of the kitchen floor, and school their children on the meaning of work and chores... He would joke with her until she smiled, he would play with her until something freaky went down... If a man is in love with a woman, a woman that has become his wife, there is nothing in the world that he would let harm her, even if it meant he had to give his life...

Expressions from a woman in love:
You say you saw a lifetime in an instant
The day we met you weren't the only one who knew
Knew that you would complete me and I would complete you
The awareness of three is how we became destined to be
Your inner voice, my inner voice, and the voice who chose us to be happy - together for others to see
So, you say you saw a lifetime in an instant
And, baby I did too
When you saw your hand holding mine, I saw my body wrapped with you - I felt the embrace of a Man I never felt - The kiss of a love that made my heart melt - The presence of Trust, Comfort, and Protection - The light of a new direction
It's like the Maker placed us on a path face to face, and gave us instructions to walk together at a comfortable pace...

Okay, is that enough for now... Just a little something on my view of two people in love... You still want to know how I know when I've fallen in love..? Am I apprehensive..? To be continued~

a few questions for today

2005-06-05T16:45:00.000-04:00

What is your view on two people in love with one another? How do you know when you have fallen in love (I know when I have)? Have you ever been apprehensive about falling in love again?

thursday night cabaret~

2005-06-02T22:35:00.000-04:00

My evening is winding down. It's a little after 10:30p and the pistons are down by 14 points (I can't bare to watch the disappointment on their faces)... I think I am going to turn the TV off and listen to some music. My day was better than yesterday. Work was productive and I was able to make my 7p nail appointment... Must keep the nails done at all times - :) In between work and my appointment I killed some time at Walmart... Can somebody please keep me away from Target and Walmart for just - ummm let's say a couple of weeks... I swear I am in Target every week almost (well it seems like it at least)... lol Why did I go in planning to only spend around $15 (I wanted to buy a CD) - I walked out with a debit to my card in the amount of $74 - what a jump :0 - I saw towels on sale and DVDs on sale and next thing I new I had three towel sets and two DVDs and one CD (well at least I managed to pick up the CD I wanted - OH wait I bought two CDs)... HELP!! I'm putting myself on punishment... I have a trip to save for... :) Anyhoo... Hold on one sec - let me put one of my CDs in...

Okay, I'm back! Earth Wind and Fire; Teddy P; The Isley Brothers... Okay - why does it sound like a Saturday night Cabaret where everyone is 45 years and older with a few 30 year olds... LOL Don't ask me why I bought this "Body and Soul" Collection album advertised on TV... Heck I must have been going through something walkin around Walmart... haha Hey, but nothing wrong with a little old school... lol Anyhoo... OO wait, this was my song - you couldn't tell me a thang - I would slow dance my butt off on this Isley song (Grove with You).... I need a special man here now so we can dance in the middle of the living room.. :) Grooove with You... Ooooo what I wouldn't do to grove with you... (snappin fingers swayin side to side)... lol

Something that you told me Stayed in my headdddd... You wanted me to Love you when you saidddd - Reach out and Touch ME - my Love is in your hands... Alright Peabo Bryson... I want to Feel the Fire... ... Okay, I'm drifting out into my own little world... I digress-

Well, after my nail appointment I went to my girl's house - her and her husband are expecting a baby and I had to drop off some pictures I took during her baby shower we gave her a couple of weeks ago... We sat and chatted for about an hour... Catching up and viewing the baby's room... Aaaw, it's so cute and special to see such a happy couple await there precious one... So, we viewed the updates to the room and then sat in the living room and just chatted... We talked about men, relationships, and all the stuff in between - love, marriage, children... (that's another blog entry/memo 2)... :)

I'm getting sleepy, and this CD isn't helping... I guess I'll call it a night and listen to my music... I'm sure Luther V will help me sleep...

Good night.

where has my motivation gone..?

2005-06-01T22:38:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I am sitting here trying out this new blogger pad... Sitting here trying to think of what the heck I want to talk about - hmmmm There's so much to talk about, yet so little time during the days... Heck, I should be working right now as I sit here and try this new blog thang... lol Yes, I brought work home from the office and I have a paper to finish for a class... Who told me that graduate school was a breeze compared to undgergrad..?? I can't remember at this time, but they were sooo wrong... Okay, so maybe they weren't completely wrong, depending on the program and school - and other possible activities and work loads... There aren't as many assignments and exams - just paper after paper after paper... Every week some instructor wants a paper (two pages - five pages - ten pages - 20 pages...)... Some weeks I just can't get motivated to write about GM, Financial statements and 10ks - or the opportunity Cost between obtaining a Masters Degree while working full time and Taking a Leave of absence from work while Obtaining a Degree... I swear, one day I'm going to stand up and say: WHO Cares!!" Okay, so I won't really do that... I'm just venting of course... Did I say I'm not complaining... I'm not... Just burnt out at the moment... I enjoy what I do... Just burnt out... Looking for something new... Anyhoo...

Why do I feel like my motivation has just been sucked right out of me... I don't know... I'm a 31 year old woman who has so much to be thankful for, and at times feel like I wish I'd accomplished so much more... Good profession, yes, I do... Good health, yes, I do... Good educational opportunities, yes, I have them... Family friends - yes all there... Ability to take care of myself, yes, always have... Ability to love and receive love from others... Yes, all true... Positive social networking groups - yes... There as well... So, what is it that I complain about - Not a Thing... What is it that I miss - ummmm (that's another blog/memo)... What is it that has sucked the motivation right out from under my feet... I think I'm just tired... Okay, enough of me venting... I just needed a moment... :) I'm truly thankful for all my opportunities...

Let me get to my work... I'll let ya know what I've been missin (as stated earlier) soon...

Til I write again,
Tootles`